The 104 Best Jokes for Kids That'll Have the Whole Family in Stitches

Crack up your family's budding comedian with these knock-knock jokes, puns and gags.

The Best Jokes for Kids
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Anybody who spends any time with kids knows that there's nothing better than a well-timed joke. When you're waiting in line, trying to short-circuit a tantrum, looking for a way to start conversation or just want to hear the giggles, having repertoire of puns and gags comes in handy in a million different scenarios. Things get even sillier when kids start to learn to tell jokes for themselves, in which case you'd better have some for them to memorize.

These child-friendly jokes are short, easy to remember and they make sense — which is not always a given with kid jokes! And yes, they will probably make other adults roll their eyes the next time your child decides to try out her stand-up routine for all of the relatives. (They’re not quite to the level of dad jokes, but they’re getting there.) Plus, we found more than 100 of them, so you can keep returning to this list every time the material gets stale. And, even though there are a ton of quips on this list, orange you glad we didn’t include that tired old banana knock-knock joke?

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1 Why did two 4s skip dinner?
best jokes for kids

Because they already 8!

2 What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine?
best jokes for kids

A slowpoke!

3 What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
best jokes for kids

An irrelephant!

4 What kind of tree can fit in one hand?
best jokes for kids

A palm tree!

5 Why do bees have sticky hair?
best jokes for kids

They use honeycombs.

6 Knock, knock.
best jokes for kids

Who’s there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn’t opened so I knocked.

7 What do you get when you cross a rabbit with shellfish?
best jokes for kids
8 Did you hear about the rancher who had 97 cows in his field?
best jokes for kids

When he rounded them up, he had 100!

9 How do they keep the basketball arena cool?
best jokes for kids

They fill it with fans!

10 What kind of dog does a magician have?
best jokes for kids

A Labracadabrador!

11 What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backwards?
best jokes for kids

A receding hare-line!

12 Knock, knock.
best jokes for kids

Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever!

13 Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
best jokes for kids

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!

14 Why does it take pirates a long time to learn the alphabet?
best jokes for kids

Because they can spend years at C!

15 Why can't you tell a joke to an egg?
best jokes for kids

It might crack up!

16 What did the triangle feel sorry for the circle?
best jokes for kids

Because it’s pointless!

17 Knock, knock.
best jokes for kids

Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome.

18 What did the bunny say to the carrot?
best jokes for kids

It’s been nice gnawing you!

19 Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
best jokes for kids

He was going through a stage!

20 What did the lightbulb say to its sweetheart?
best jokes for kids

I wuv you a watt!

21 What do you call a sad strawberry?
best jokes for kids

A blueberry!

22 What do you call a huge pile of cats?
best jokes for kids

A meow-ntain!

23 Which vegetable do sailors hate the most?
best jokes for kids

Leeks!

24 What did one wall say to the other wall?
jokes for kids wall joke

I’ll meet you at the corner!

RELATED: The Best Dad Jokes for Kids With Cheesy Parents

25 Knock, knock.
jokes for kids isabel knock knock joke

Who’s there?

Isabel.

Isabel who?

Isabel not working?

26 What has four wheels and flies?
jokes for kids garbage truck joke

A garbage truck!

27 Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
jokes for kids scarecrow nobel prize joke

He was outstanding in his field!

28 What do sprinters eat before a race?
jokes for kids sprinters joke

Nothing. They fast!

29 What do pirates pay for corn?
jokes for kids

A buck an ear!

30 Knock, knock.
jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Icy.

Icy who?

Icy you in there!

31 What do you call an illegally parked frog?
jokes for kids

Toad!

32 Why are elevator jokes so good?
jokes for kids

They work on many levels!

33 How does the moon cut his hair?
jokes for kids

Eclipse it!

34 Knock, knock.
jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Ice cream.

Ice cream who?

ICE CREAM SO YOU CAN HEAR ME!

RELATED: The Best Knock Knock Jokes for Kids With a Good Sense of Humor

35 Why did an old man fall in a well?
jokes for kids

Because he couldn’t see that well!

36 Why are peppers the best at archery?
jokes for kids

Because they habanero!

37 Knock, knock.
jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Dozen.

Dozen who?

Dozen anyone want to let me in?

38 What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
jokes for kids

Finding half a worm in your apple!

39 Why did the tomato blush?
jokes for kids

Because it saw the salad dressing!

40 What did the duck say after she bought chapstick?
jokes for kids

Put it on my bill!

41 What do you do when a lemon gets sick?
jokes for kids

You give it lemon-aid.

42 What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Jokes for Kids

Hi, bud!

43 Why did the kid throw his clock out the window?
Jokes for Kids

Because he wanted to see time fly!

44 Why are fish so smart?
Jokes for Kids

Because they live in schools!

45 Where do polar bears keep their money?
Jokes for Kids
46 Knock, knock.
jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Scold.

Scold who?

Scold outside, let me in!

47 Why did the pony get sent to his room?
Jokes for Kids

He wouldn’t stop horsing around!

RELATED: Corny But Hilarious Thanksgiving Jokes

48 What do you call a bear with no ears?
Jokes for Kids

A “B!”

49 What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Jokes for Kids
50 Knock, Knock
jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Water.

Water who?

Water you asking so many questions for, just open up!

51 What do you call a cheese that’s not yours?
Jokes for Kids

Nacho cheese!

52 Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
Jokes for Kids

Because he was a little shellfish!

53 Knock, knock.
jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

Car go, “Toot toot, vroom, vroom!”

RELATED: The Best Knock Knock Jokes for Kids With a Good Sense of Humor

54 Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because she’s always running away from the ball!

55 Why did the picture go to prison?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because it was framed!

56 Where do cows go on Friday nights?
Best Jokes for Kids

They go to the moo-vies!

57 What did one eye say to the other eye?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Between us, something smells!

58 Why do bicycles fall over?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because they’re two-tired!

59 Knock, knock!
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Hatch.

Hatch who?

Bless you!

60 What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Thunderwear!

61 Why couldn't the pony sing “Happy Birthday?”
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because she was just a little hoarse!

62 If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A bagel!

63 What did the buffalo say when his little boy left for school?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Bison!

64 Knock, knock!
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Annie.

Annie who?

Annie body home?

65 Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because he felt crummy!

66 Why do vampires seem sick all the time?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because they’re always coffin!

67 How can you make a tissue dance?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Put a little boogie in it!

68 What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A mushroom!

69 Which hand is it better to write with?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Neither, it’s better to write with a pencil!

70 What animal can you always find at a baseball game?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A bat!

71 Knock, knock.
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!

72 What does the ocean do when it sees its friends?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

It waves!

73 What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

It smells like carrots over here!

74 Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Just in case he got a hole in one!

75 How do you make an octopus laugh?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

With ten-tickles!

76 What has four wheels and flies?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A garbage truck!

77 Knock, knock.
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!

78 Why did the boy throw a stick of butter out the window?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because he wanted to see a butterfly!

79 What did the sink say to the toilet?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Wow, you look really flushed!

80 What kind of key opens a banana?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A mon-key!

81 What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish!

82 Knock, knock.
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, silly! Cows go, “Moo!”

83 Knock, knock.
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Owls go.

Owls go who?

That’s right!

84 What did the traffic light say to the car?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Look away, I’m about to change!

85 How do you keep a bull from charging?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Take away its credit card!

86 Where do pencils come from?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Pennsylvania!

87 What gets wetter the more that it dries?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A towel!

88 Knock, knock.
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

Hey, I didn’t know you could yodel!

89 Why was 6 afraid of 7?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because 7, 8, 9!

90 Why was the broom late?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

It over-swept!

91 Why did the teddy bear not ask for dessert?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because he was already so stuffed!

92 What do you call a fake noodle?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

An impasta!

93 Why can’t a hand be 12 inches long?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because then it would be a foot!

94 Knock, knock.
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Nana.

Nana who?

Nana your business!

95 Why did the student eat his homework?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because his teacher told him it would be a piece of cake!

96 How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

You rocket!

97 Why are ghosts bad liars?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Because you can see right through them!

98 What did the paper say to the pencil?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Write on!

99 Knock, knock.
50 best jokes for kids

Who’s there?

Spell.

Spell who?

Okay, W-H-O!

100 What do you call a dinosaur with bad vision?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A Do-you-think-he-sarus!

101 Why was the math book sad?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

It had too many problems!

102 What can you catch, but never throw?
50 Best Jokes for Kids

A cold!

103 Knock, knock.
50 Best Jokes for Kids

Who’s there?

Toodle

Toodle who?

Toodle-loo to you, too!

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