40 Funny Quotes About Motherhood to Help Bring a Smile to Mom's Face

Write one in a card, use it in a toast or make it part of the perfect Mother's Day caption.

mother and daughter laughing and smiling
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It's not a cliché when people say being a parent is the hardest job in the world. And being a mom in particular comes with its own unique set of challenges. That's why whether your a mom yourself in need of a laugh (sometimes to save you from crying) or you're looking for a way to bring a smile to your mom's face, these funny quotes about motherhood are just what the doctor ordered.

We pulled quips that are sarcastic, short, cute — you name it — from our favorite celebrity moms for inspiration. Yep, even though they walk red carpets, they definitely know all about the good, the bad and the gross that comes with motherhood.

If you're looking for a saying for your mom, use one of these in in a card, in a toast or make it part of the perfect Mother's Day caption. Or, if you’re a mom — new or seasoned — bask in the honesty of these quotations and know that even if it feels like it, you're really never alone in the highs and lows of mothering.
celebrity mom quotes
1 of 40
Nia Vardalos

Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.

celebrity mom quotes
2 of 40
Ann Hathaway

Hates it ... My son hates my singing voice ...

celebrity mom quotes
3 of 40
Adele

Parenting is f---ing hard.

celebrity mom quotes
4 of 40
Blake Livelyh

I'm one of five kids. My husband is one of four, so we're officially breeders.

celebrity mom quotes
5 of 40
Michelle Pfeifer

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy.

celebrty mom quotes
6 of 40
Olivia Wild

First of all, you haven't seen your vagina in months, even though it's all her fault you're in this situation. Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn't the gal that you remember, and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being, thank you very much.

funny celebrity mom quotes
7 of 40
Kerry Washington

I can be covered in spit up on a conference call while I'm pumping and that's okay, because this is my perfect. It may not be somebody else's, but this is mine.

8 of 40
Kelly Clarkson

Wine is necessary.

funny mom quote from kerry washington
9 of 40
Kerry Washington

It’s the best acting of my life right here, the well-rested woman. It’s my finest role.

RELATED: Mother's Day Quotes That Help Express How Important She Is

funny mom quote from mindy kaling
10 of 40
Mindy Kaling

Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life.

11 of 40
Blake Lively

Having a baby is just living in the constant unexpected, you never know when you're gonna get crapped on or when you're gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics.

12 of 40
Amy Schumer

Does this baby make me look fat?

funny mom quote from ali wong
13 of 40
Ali Wong

A toy Tamagotchi is more communicative than a human baby, OK? Because the toy will at least tell you when it poos.

funny mom quote from jennifer lopez
14 of 40
Jennifer Lopez

I used to give my friends who have kids advice all the time, and they would look at me like I had three heads. And then, when I had two, I literally apologized to all my friends.

funny mom quote from cardi b
15 of 40
Cardi B

I met my match. She is very demanding, like, I can’t believe I have a boss. When my baby wanna eat, she wanna eat. It’s not like, “Oh three minutes?” No. Give me the milk now.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
16 of 40
Carrie Underwood

The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn't finish.

RELATED: The Best Kids Quotes, Because Raising Children Goes Faster Than You'd Think

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
17 of 40
Kristen Bell

Every day when you're raising kids, you feel like you could cry or crack up and just scream 'This is ridiculous!' because there's so much nonsense, whether it's what they're saying to you or the fact that there's avocado or poop on every surface.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
18 of 40
Amy Poehler

Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
19 of 40
Emily Blunt

After we got home from the hospital, I didn’t shower for a week, and then John and I were like, 'Let’s go out for dinner.’ I could last only about an hour because my boobs were exploding. When the milk first comes in, it’s like a tsunami. But we went, just to prove to ourselves that we could feel normal for a second.

funny mom quotes
danielle carson
20 of 40
Nora Ephron

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
21 of 40
Christina Applegate

Sometimes I stand there going, 'I'm not doing any of this right!' And then I get this big man belch out of her and I go, 'Ah, we accomplished this together.'

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
22 of 40
Shonda Rhimes

Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You want to torture someone? Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn't sleep.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
23 of 40
Tina Fey

Ah, babies. They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

funny quotes
Danielle Carson
24 of 40
Phyllis Diller

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

funny mom quotes 
Danielle Carson
25 of 40
Maya Rudolph

[Having four kids is] endless stuff. It's endless entertainment, it's endless stress, endless responsibility. Everyone's at different ages and levels, everyone's into different stuff. But everyone is into slime.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
26 of 40
Eva Mendes

I've leaned that it's way harder to be a baby. For instance, I haven't thrown up since the '90s and she's thrown up twice since we started this interview.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
27 of 40
Chrissy Teigen

No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.

funny mom quotes 
Danielle Carson
28 of 40
Alyson Hannigan

Why don't kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
29 of 40
Rachel Dratch

Parenting Tip: Maybe don't leave Hungry Hungry Hippos on the floor of a dark room.

funny mom quotes
Danielle Carson
30 of 40
Michelle Pfeiffer

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy.

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